Follow Me [Not] on Twitter!

The other day someone suggested I post on Twitter. Sorry, no way....


The Twitter phenomenon is hysterical, ridiculous, appalling and disturbing. How such an odd wrinkle in the media universe could catch on is worthy of an in-depth scholarly review, but the fact that it has is hard to deny. You know that Twitter is here to stay, at least for the short term, when major media conglomerates and advertising giants all now make it a point to advertise their presence on Twitter. "Follow us on Twitter!" is the rallying cry.


Sorry, I have better things to do than get 1- or 2-sentence updates from companies, media people, even friends and family members. If my mother were twittering I'd call her up and say, "Mom, stop! I'm not interested!" If some company had the testicular fortitude to run ads that said that they were NOT on Twitter, I'd be more likely to buy their product. The ad could say something like: "We would like to reduce information about our company and what we do into annoying, inconsequential sound-bites, but what we do is too complicated for that, and further, we think your intelligence might be offended by treating you like a 2-year-old, so we aren't going to do that. Please don't bother looking for us on Twitter." I'd go for their products if they did that!


Twitter does have a more circumscribed place in the universe, though. For instance, it can quickly report squash scores from on-going tournaments, a use that US Squash has embraced. These fast reports have been welcomed in particular by junior players, and their parents, who want to get the scores asap. So okay, I accept that.


But other than for such legitimate informational uses, Twitter is nonsense. It has currently reached and exceeded the proverbial tipping point where everyone feels it is necessary to get on board. One fine day in the future everyone will look around, realize that since everyone is on Twitter the media has lost all semblance of panache, and ask, 'What the hell was I thinking?' and like rats on a sinking ship, off they'll go. To where, of course, is the ultimate question, for therein lies money, big money.