I ain't no spring chicken, so the prospect of playing 4.5 league ball with those who are often 3 decades younger than I can often be discombobulating, disheartening, and disagreeable, leaving me disgruntled. That's just the way it goes when you are an athlete who's beginning to age out of the standard competition.
So here's a thought. Let's start new, age-based league divisions, starting at about 55 and going up by decades.
The Official League Denoting the Fellowship of Aging, Rheumatologic, Tragicomic Squash players -- The OLD FARTS -- could play once a month (not every week; we need time to recuperate). We might all chip in to have an orthopedist on hand in case something untoward happens.
Or maybe a cardiologist.