Squashing Down in the Deep South

I've been quiet on this blog lately because I've been working pretty damn hard and, when available, squashing pretty damn hard. Not a ton of time available beyond those two polar opposites, the dual lodestars of my existence. 

However, I recently got back from 5 days in the deep south where, among other things, I was able to play squash. Imagine that. 

I visited Sewanee, Tenn, not far from the Alabama border, where The University of The South is headquartered.  My in-laws are happily retired from teaching at the school and have stayed in the community. The college itself is well regarded, ranking #33 on US News' lists of National Liberal Arts Colleges. It's also relatively moderate in price: tuition and other fees total $32,292. In addition to the college there is also a well-regarded school of theology, which follows the Episcopalian tradition.

I viewed this visit as a wonderful opportunity to do some serious working out every day in their well-appointed gym and then to get on the school's one squash court and do some solo practice. 


I had been on this court before and so came prepared with my squash kit. Last time I visited I had pestered my in-laws to get me a game, so they asked around and gave me the name of a professor, purported to be the best squash player on campus. I was so wound up and ready to play, however, the poor man never had a chance. This time around I thought my time would be better spent with solo work, so that's what I did. Each day went like this: 45 minutes or so working out on the weights and exercise machines and another 45 minutes on the court practicing shots, working on my backhand, and going over footwork. It was great to take the time to do all that, particularly when it is so rare to find such time in my normal life. 


The court itself is interesting. It was clearly installed by a racquetball installer, which I say because of two quirks. First, racquetball courts often have a little plexiglass compartment located in one of the back corners in which one can put keys, valuables, wallet, etc. They are never found on squash courts, however, because the back corners are way too important to put anything other than smooth wall there. But lo and behold, this court has such a compartment. Another quirk is the floor, which like many racquetball courts is oddly shellacked, making the surface slipperier than a standard squash court.

Despite the funkiness of the court, The University of the South has managed to field a squash team for College Squash Association competition, and ranked #51 last year; among club teams, it ranked #21 (of a total 32).

I was working out and playing squash right in the middle of the school day, so wasn't surprised that I didn't see any other squash players hanging around. However, on my last day, after I had finished my session and emerged from the men's locker room on the way home, I saw a female student, who couldn't have been more than about 5' tall, walking quickly towards the court with a racket that seemed about half her height. She had a big smile on her face. 

I know that look. She's got the addiction....   

PSA's Squash TV Is a Fantastic Accomplishment

I sat down with Alex Gough, the CEO of the Professional Squash Association, during the recent Tournament of Champions to interview him about the latest doings at the PSA, and also get from him his take on how Squash TV is faring. Alex was generous with his time and I came away very impressed with both him and his plans for the PSA.

The PSA is the face of men's pro squash on this planet. It is important for our sport that those at the PSA be innovative and responsive to their various constituents, and in my estimation they have been, and then some.

Without a doubt, the PSA's Squash TV is their greatest success story. Encumbered by a difficult financial climate -- to say the least -- they have nonetheless created a means through which squash fans the world over can see high-quality, crystal clear, riveting squash from the world's best, filmed by an excellent crew in locations all over the world, with interesting and informed commentary besides. It's a fantastic accomplishment. 

I was all set to sing Alex's and the PSA's praises when Kevin Klipstein, capo di tutti capo of US Squash, beat me to it. So instead of prattling on, click here and read his review of the PSA and Squash TV. I concur completely. 

And the best way for you the fan to support the PSA is to pay the very reasonable sum of $80 for an entire year of access. An entire year! It's time to join the 50,000 unique visitors to the site each month and watch the greatest squash players on earth -- and yeah, James Willstrop is right up there at the top of the list.

James Willstrop Is a Putz

The very informative (and getting better all the time) squash site Daily Squash Report published an excerpt from James Willstrop's book, and the excerpt, available here, exposes this gentleman as a putz.

I'm sorry about that, because not long ago I was all for his ascendancy to the #1 spot in squash. Now I would like all US players and fans to give him one long unending boo every time they see him play. 

A putz is a great Yiddish word that means either an uninformed fool or a penis. You be the judge.

In Willstrop's book, which I urge you not to buy, he rambles on about American squash in general and the World Squash Federation's 2010 World Squash Awards event, held at the Tournament of Champions. 

Mr. Willstrop it appears was very disconcerted by a few hardball and hardball doubles awards that were given out at this event, apparently feeling that this is not really squash in the true sense and that Americans are always fooling with things better left unaltered. (This is why England is still a monarchy, even though most Brits can't figure out what it is the royals do...)

He goes on to complain about the stupid Americans coming up with different terms for shots (Rails? It's a drive!) and heaven forfend, those Yanks have even dispensed with lets! Pshaw!

He mocks our sports -- baseball, American football -- as being not truly world sports. This from a representative of a country that is still enamored with cricket. Isn't that a bug?

In his myopia he has failed to understand that squash has been an American sport for nearly as long as it has been an English sport, but it developed along different lines. I suggest he read James Zug's history of the American game, which is a great book. (Buy it here, Mr. Willstrop.) We have our traditions too, although we, unlike the British squash establishment, are prepared to innovate.

The North American Open is going on as I write this. Give Willstrop a hearty boo for me, thanks.

In Which Schumacher Orders Me Some Iceberg Lettuce …

I am not one to wager, other than the occasional $4 ticket for the Powerball lottery, whose prize recently went up to something like $350 million. If I were to ever win Powerball I would stare at the winning ticket and then collapse in a twitching heap of neurologic pandemonium, probably to die on the spot from over-happiness. Someone somewhere won that Powerball, and his or her face is probably sore from smiling so hard.

But the chances of actually winning Powerball are vanishingly thin. Beating Schumacher, on the other hand, is far more likely. Not guaranteed, by any means, but worth a shot. By prior agreement we and our wives are going out on Saturday to an expensive restaurant specializing in fish, so Schumacher, still smarting from his ignominious defeat the last time we played, offered a wager: whoever wins has to pay 65% of the overall bill for this dinner. I thought, fine, the bet is on.

After exchanging the obligatory trash talk during the week, we met this morning. I thought we both played pretty well. I won the first game quite quickly, but Schumacher did not seem to be phased in the least, indeed he seemed to expect it. The second game was tit-for-tat until we found ourselves at 10-all. A few rallies later, and some poor shot selection by yours truly, and Schumacher got the second game, 13-11. Ugh, I hate losing in overtime….

Third game, again close throughout. Physicians like Schumacher are used to taking charge and that might be why he is very much a shooter. I realized that he loves to volley drop my inaccurate crosscourt shots, particularly those coming from my backhand side. So I start telling myself that every shot must be down the wall: no cross-courts ever on the backhand side, and rarely on the forehand. The strategy keeps me in the game, until we end up at 10-all again. Uh oh…. Stupidly, I then changed tactics and went for a few ill-advised drops of my own. But Schumacher is much better at the front court than I, so every time I tried a drop shot he got there, held his shot nicely, and either ripped it up the wall or boasted around the corner. Not once did he choose the wrong way, always hitting the shot as far as possible away from me. Game 3 to Schumacher, 15-13. Ouch… 

Game 4 started badly, with me quickly going down 6-0 as I tried to shoot my way out of trouble with drops and odd angles that Schumacher quickly chased down. Like a lot of players, I have a grab-bag of unexpected shots that will work against a lesser-skilled player, or maybe earlier in a match against a player like Schumacher, but when he’s warmed up and has his eye ready for the ball, it’s just a waste of time, and all I’m doing is giving him easy points. I realized I had to go back to the original plan, only hitting rail shots as much as possible, and indeed got a bit back in the game, but the deficit was too much, and I went down ignominiously at 11-6. Wager won by Schumacher, 3-1.

Schumacher left the court talking about how he and his wife were going to order the most expensive item on the menu, lobster thermidor, and that we had better stick to salad so that we could afford the expensive meal.

“Lobster thermidor for two please,” said Schumacher, “and they’ll have some iceberg lettuce!”

Heh heh. Ugh…..

Last Night of the ToC! Boo-hoo!

It will be an interesting match tonight as once again the #1 ranking is on the line, with Willstrop hoping to prove he deserves the accolade and Matthew hoping to regain what I'm sure he feels is rightfully his. 

Matthew is coming back from injury, and that has a tendency to put a small grain of doubt in one's mind. If I had to guess, I'd say Willstrop in 5 very hard games. But I admit it could easily go the other way... 

It's also nice to note that the ToC isn't just about the pros. Here's Chris Walker, still looking exceptionally fit, showing some StreetSquash kids the art of the drop.

The Empowering Effect of a Dose of ToC

My arch-enemy Schumacher and I went to see the Tournament of Champions last night, paying good money to get seats midway down the left wall. It took a while to get used to the crazy angle, but once we did we were treated to some close-up views of the pros and their shotmaking. 

We saw four matches. The first was Olivia Blatchford, one of two players from the US, playing Dipika Pallikal, the 7th-seeded Indian. It was really no contest, as Blatchford appeared by turns nervous and agitated over her play. She lost in straight games. Here's the last point, as recorded on my lousy cellphone:

We also saw Australia's Donna Urquhart, who is without doubt one of the sexiest woman in squash, play Pakistani sensation Maria Toor Pakay. Pakay has come under the wing of Jonathan Power, who is helping to guide her as she negotiates her way from the ultra-conservative tribal areas of her country, where a woman is not supposed to be involved in sport whatsoever, to playing squash at the highest level in venues around the world. A big step, and judging by her play last night, she's not there yet. She appeared to be nervous and relatively uninterested in doing anything other than smacking the ball hard to the back corners. Urquhart, on the other hand, remained unfazed and looked perfectly delightful in a wonderful peach-colored dress. I am here to report that there were murmurs of appreciation from the crowd, and they weren't talking about her squash game....

We also saw two good matches on the men's side. First up were Englishmen James Willstrop, looking very sharp, and Peter Barker. Barker looks to be in great form, so it is a little amazing that he hasn't had more success against Willstrop, but the latter seems continually to have the edge up, and so it was last night, with Barker being shown the door in under 40 minutes. We also got to take a look at Egyptian teenage sensation Marwan El Shorbagy, who seems to float effortlessly about the court, and a very impressive Daryl Selby, Englishman, who I think played a magnificent match. Selby can be quite deceptive, employing a full bag of head fakes and last-second wrist breaks. The effect of all this was to keep Marwan running, and that he did. They had several very long rallies, after which Selby seemed to take one long breath and then was quickly back ready to play, whereas I saw Marwan doubled over a few times trying to catch his breath. I think Selby, who won in 3, has a shot to reach the finals this year, he is playing that well. I also think that Marwan will be the #1 player within 7 years: he moves better than any other player I have ever seen.

There is something empowering about seeing a lot of high-level pro players going about their business. Schumacher and I agreed to play this morning, and I, feeling jazzed by my observations last night, foiled my arch-enemy's plans for total domination and offered up a soul-crushing win in 5. The squashist wins! The squashist wins!

 

The Ladies Come to the ToC

Commuted in this morning and there was a pair of the female contenders at the Tournament of Champions doing a little early-morning practice. I think I am correct in saying that this was Natalie Grinham and Sarah Kippax playing a friendly -- both looked sharp. 

 

I have to ask, why can't we get a full women's draw with some decent prize money for the ToC? C'mon, you masters of finance, help fund the ladies so they can have a full tournament at this great squash venue....

ToC Getting Ready in NY

I was pleased to see the goings-on at Grand Central Terminal during my morning commute. The court is being assembled today! The best week of squash in New York City is about to begin ....

 

The Future of Squash Is Egyptian, Yes?

Egyptians have just won 7 of 8 titles at the British Junior Open. A great achievement, with a clean sweep for the country denied only by one determined Pakistani, who won the boys 15 and under.

Above, Marwan El Shorbagy lets out a roar after winning the boys 19 and under, and you can bet he will make his presence felt on the pro tour soon. 

But I worry for Egyptian squash. There is already news that squash is not receiving the political support needed to keep funding at recent levels, and we are increasingly seeing great Egyptian squash players opt for other locales -- often, the US -- as they segue into teaching pros. 

That's great for US squash, but I would hate to see Eqyptian squash whither away from political disinterest. Egypt is too important as a squash nation, and their players are too great, to welcome something like that. Squash needs Egypt. 

But at this juncture, will Egypt be able to win a similar number of championships at next years BJO? I think squash pundits would have to say, 'No, quite possibly not.'

Blogs Redux

Rather amazingly I realize I have been doing this blog for 2 and a half years now. Sometimes the pathetic roll of the blogger is to publish a post and watch it head off into the blogosphere, never knowing for sure what fate will befall it, like a parent watching his child go off to college...

I've had a couple of strange experiences. On two blogs I mentioned Tiger Woods unflatteringly. The first time I did that lo and behold the very next day I got a reader for the first time in the town in Florida where he lives. Hmmmm. 

Amazingly enough, I also mentioned the pope one time and, believe it or not, Rome lit up on my map of hits the next day. I envisioned the pope, sitting in his jewel-encrusted personal library, silently damning me to hell.... Perhaps the single posting that was read in more strange places than any was a Wikileaks parody I did. That post was read in some very dicey areas all over the world, including unruly regions of Africa and 'the Stans.' 

Of course I've had my share of dud postings, but I thought I'd take a look back and revisit a few posts that I was rather fond of. Take a look; you be the judge:

Here's a review of loud grunting on tennis and squash courts.

How top athletes can remain very calm and hyperfocused at the same time.

Here are 27 great squash tips from the Khan dynasty.

I've always maintained goggles should be a must in squash.

Here I announce my love for Nicol David, a squash goddess.

A friend nearly loses it, but squash is his lifeline.

Two blogs reviewing squash injuries (part I and part II).

Here I review the 10 Commandments of squash.

Stretching before a match? Probably not a good idea...

Perhaps my personal all-time favorite: motor disinhibition in top athletes.

Does sex affect your squash game?

Here I try my hand at poetry. And then I try it again here....

I used to slice my feet with razors to reduce blistering. No, really....

All about how intense exercise can make you sick.

All about hardball doubles, from a master.

An interview with the Pro Squash Tour's McManus.

US Squash innovates again...

Here I recount a weird night out in superbia. Oh, I mean suburbia...

My personal list of things to remember when playing our game.

And finally, all about my birthday: September 11...

I hope you've enjoyed some of these. All you squashists out there, thanks for tuning in!

What a Mouthful!

I'm on record as saying that the DailySquashReport.com site is a nice addition to the squash world's relatively paltry offerings for news. I make it a point to visit "the Report" after first checking out SquashSite. I definitely recommend lovers of squash bookmark both sites....

The Report does, however, have its quirks. The daily news is posted in the morning, so anything newsworthy that happens during the day will not appear until the next morning. So when Willstrop won the Punj Lloyd PSA Masters tournament, and thereby ascended to #1 player in the world rankings, there was nothing on the Report's site until the next day. But okay, fair enough, I'm sure the folks putting the Report out have other things to do during the day, and aren't sitting around a desk waiting for squash news to come drifting in. 

Another quirky thing about the site is the writing of Rob Dinerman. I've never met the man, but having read his articles over the years you can draw a few firm conclusions: he is a hardball fanatic, is not a fan of US Squash (probably because of its embrace of softball), and is not a fan of the common period.

He writes enthusiastic reviews of professional doubles tournaments, in particular those played under the ISDA banner. He also recently picked what he considered the most important squash performances of 2011 in an article he wrote for his site, and of the 8 players highlighted, 5 were squash hardballers -- a disproportionate number, surely. But again, to each his own. If the Report wants to be mainly a venue for original articles about squash doubles, that's fine, although certainly limiting.

But of enduring interest is what appears to be Mr. Dinerman's antipathy towards the period -- a/k/a the full stop. He doesn't seem to like them, sometimes going to seemingly extreme lengths to avoid their use. Here is a wonderful example, from his recent article about the ISDA tour:

When Manek Mathur and Yvain Badan posted sequential victories over first Damien Mudge and Ben Gould (rupturing their 46-0 skein) and then Matt Jenson and Clive Leach, the top two ranked teams on the ISDA tour, in the final two rounds of the Briggs Cup, the last and most lucrative pro hardball doubles tournament in calendar 2011, they completely upended the prevailing status quo, generated the most noteworthy accomplishment in the nearly nine years since Leach and Blair Horler dethroned reigning champs Mudge and Gary Waite in the final of the April 2003 Kellner Cup (on a daring Horler reverse-corner at 14-13 in the fifth), became the first team in the 12-year history of the ISDA to win a tournament in which they faced match-point-against in the third game of their semi and culminated a meteoric ascent from having to hack their way through the qualifying rounds as recently as this past January to winning an event of this magnitude less than a year later.

When I first read this paragraph I searched desperately for a period, but only at the very end of the paragraph, spent and exhausted, did I find one.

It's clearly Dinerman's writing style, which he has honed over many years. I am a writer and an editor, and frankly I wouldn't write that paragraph that way, but clearly Mr. Dinerman is just exercising his own artistic license, and I'm all for artistry. 

I was curious, though. There are ways of judging the difficulty in a written sample, and it has become something of a science. I am occasionally called on to write at a 6th grade level, for example, because I need to convey in layman's terms rather complicated things about medicine that need explaining, but big words cannot be used. Well, there is a site for figuring out grade-level reading abilities. WordsCount analyzes text through various means and can estimate the level of education one must have in order to understand it. So by copying the above sentence-paragraph into the readability calculator, I was able to get an approximation of the grade level one would need to understand the text. 

The Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level was 65. 

Not 6th grade, but 65th grade. What the hell is that, anyway?

Smart Move

The Pro Squash Tour, Joe McManus' let-shunning sports creation, has just made a very smart move, decreeing that as of the new year all players must wear eye protection.

It's been worrying me that in a no-let tournament players will be more likely to accidentally hit unprotected eyes as they scramble to get around the other player. I felt there was an accident out there waiting to happen.

It turns out McManus must have been thinking the same thing. And now he's fixed the problem. Players will probably whine a bit, but after awhile it will become part of the deal: If you want to play PST, you have to don the glasses. Easily enough done.....

The Old Farts Play On, Despite All

I ain't no spring chicken, so the prospect of playing 4.5 league ball with those who are often 3 decades younger than I can often be discombobulating, disheartening, and disagreeable, leaving me disgruntled. That's just the way it goes when you are an athlete who's beginning to age out of the standard competition.

So here's a thought. Let's start new, age-based league divisions, starting at about 55 and going up by decades.

The Official League Denoting the Fellowship of Aging, Rheumatologic, Tragicomic Squash players -- The OLD FARTS -- could play once a month (not every week; we need time to recuperate). We might all chip in to have an orthopedist on hand in case something untoward happens. 

Or maybe a cardiologist.

Who's in?

Willstrop or Won'tstrop?

James Willstrop, current world #2, can attain the #1 ranking if he wins the Punj Lloyd PSA Masters tournament, which starts tomorrow. I hope he does it.

I've always been of the opinion that Willstrop is just too damned tall to be the best of the best, and yet the guy, to his immense credit, keeps trying to do just that. He's just come off two very successful tournaments, winning both the Hong Kong Open and the Kuwait PSA Cup. For some reason nobody has yet told him that he is too tall to play top squash. He's proven me wrong about my prognostications about his height and i'm both happy for and impressed by him.

He's only 28, so he still has some good years left, but this may be his best opportunity yet. With all the effort he has put in, I want him to be able to look back and say he made it to #1. Best of luck, Mr. Willstrop!

This happened to a friend of mine. He told me this.

This happened to a friend of mine. He told me this. I know this friend very well.  He was playing in a 4.5 league match against the smarty-pants over at Harvard. You know those types, the 1%-ers, probably. They play with their noses in the air. Anyway, he shows up, gets himself all psyched up, and onto the court he strides, awaiting the arrival of his adversary, warming up furiously before the battle is waged.

His opponent does show up, a little late, about a foot shorter than he, but in great shape and seemingly quite confident. The opponent warms up very quickly and then, without further ado, says, “Let’s play!” And play my friend does, as hard as he can muster, but the opponent holds the T awfully well, and there is something about my friend’s backhand that night, and I, I mean my friend, can’t seem to find a good range. The opponent senses this and starts firing away into his backhand, and all his return shots seem to end up in the middle of the court, and damn, the opponent’s dropshots are working great.

Game 1 to Harvard.

Next game my friend, the guy who told me this tale of woe, hunkers down and tries to relax a little, and ends up taking the game into overtime, but two nervous shots later, it was game 2 for Harvard, 12-10. 

Jesus mother of god… 

At this point, alarm bells are screaming away in this guy’s head, and a decision is made, no matter what the cost, no matter how devastating the injury, he is going to do whatever it takes to dig out every ball possible, no excuses. Flying around the court, all arms, legs and racket, he fights and fights and fights, and lo and behold, squeaks out an 11-9 win. Game score 2-1.

New game, new focus, my friend must tie the games up to have a chance at a win. First things first. So he tries to change his approach a bit, sets up some lobs to change the rhythm, but damn if the opponent’s overhead is working great, and damn if my friend’s backhand is still as bad as ever, and the plan backfires, and he goes down ignominiously in the fourth. Match to Harvard. 

So he went over and shook her hand. “Nice game, miss,” he said. Ouch.